First Time Dad? Check This Out
Oh, The Mistakes You Will Make
You will screw up and that is totally fine. If you are like me (on kid 3) you will still me stumbling sometimes. There is this epidemic of first time parents always wanting to be perfect and thinking screwing up is wrong (thanks social media). It is not. Everyone screws up. Sometimes you forget the toy. Other times you didn’t smell the dump and he/she has been sitting in it for longer than usual. Geez, sometimes the baby will tumble and get hurt. It is not the end of the world. Kids fall, kids put stuff in their mouths and sometimes they just don’t stop crying all night which brings out your inner monster and you scream at them. Sometimes these things happen. Please do not feel like a piece of garbage as you are in the same boat as most parents.
Travelling Is Not The Worst Thing
People say “once you have a kid you are nesting for a good while”. This isn’t entirely true. Granted somethings need to fall into place in order for you to have a ‘normal’ travel experience. Kid doesn’t mind long travel times, sleeps well in car, eats on time etc. etc. But even if these things are ticked it doesn’t mean you can’t travel. Hell I brought my 2 year old and my new born baby on a 4 hour drive to a cottage which didn’t have all our usual amenities and we did fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnneeeeee. My advice, plan ahead; get those bottles, food travel equipment set up. Learn to life outside of your comfort level, I know at first you are in pure survival mode but you can expand and grow. Don’t be afraid of new challenges.
Do Not Fear The Handout
I always felt awkward when people try and help me. Unless asked it has always rubbed me wrong. Personal thing.
Kids change you quickly. I welcomed frozen lasagnas, meatloaf, veggies. Whatever somebody brought over and gave me I was happy to receive. YOU CANNOT DO IT ALL ON YOUR OWN! I mean, you probably can, but you will be a terrible, terrible mess. Family wants to help. Friends want to help. Let them. I know letting go is hard but it is necessary.
Food. It’s OK To Eat What You Have
Take out and microwaves are not bad for you. Not eating all day is. It is fine if you heat up left overs and not cook a 3 course meal every night. The first bit with a new baby is you learning them and them learning you. Now, I am not suggesting eating out every night (finances and health reason) but it is ok to crush through a burger or $12 salad every now and again. You need to eat in order for you to look after the tiny monster. So do so.
Those Kids Clothes
Holy crap. Kids clothes are very, very expensive. Odds are you are not the first person in your circle to have kids. If they are offering you used clothes do your self a favor and accept them. It’s nice to go out and buy your kid a $45 shirt for their 6month birthday…to wear once… then immediately grow out of it. I mean pretty much by the time you are removing said article of clothing from the child they have outgrown it. Find yourself your local kids second hand store and visit frequently. Your money can be spent on more important things.
Another hard part which took me years to resolve. Keeping in touch with friends and going out. You WILL get lost in your own world with your kid. Don’t kid yourself, it is going to happen. Just don’t forget that it is ok to see other people. With or without the kid (if you can). I understand sometimes people can’t. Different situations for everyone. If you can take the time to see your friends. See your family. See your friends. If you can’t go out, look at video games, look at online clubs, look at anything that will help you see other people other than your pooped filled baby. Doesn’t have to be day one obviously but when you can try and do it.
The never ending diaper world. It ends. That’s all I can say right now. I know it does. I have seen it in others. I have some out of diapers myself…but there is more… and more. I feel as if it won’t end but that is just the pessimist in me. I know better.
It gets easier and CHEAPER!!! Oh god the money you spend on diapers. Crazy. If you don’t know how to change a diaper. You got to learn. This is not a one person job. They, fill those things sooooo many times in one day. It is insane. Learn to have fun with it. Show your kid its not a bad thing to dump and pee. They will stink. They will be huge. They will be so far up their backs you won’t understand the physics behind it but it happened. Einstein couldn’t figure out how crap gets that high up!
You Are Part Of This
You are the DAD! (Or other parent!) You are as much part of this baby as your partner. Don’t forget that. If you have a wife/girlfriend who is breast feeding, yes, the baby will be all over them for forever. Your time to shine is any other time they aren’t on the boob. Read books, go for walks, enjoy the baby stage and then the infant stage and the horribleness that is the 2 and 3’s! You have so much influence over your child. People should enjoy the early stages (I saw that fully aware that I have struggled during this phase)….Just go to work, drive home, eat dinner, do books, watch tv, play with blocks do whatever you and the kid can do together. You can make it fun. I mean, you already have zero time for yourself anyways….might has well make your kid more like you.